3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
i think im in europe. pls send help
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
