Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
