I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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