i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
