wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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