I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize