member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
