im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
