Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She needs sedatives and a leash
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
