we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
