Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize