My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
That's when you crack a 10am beer
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
