Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
its liver damage thursday
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
