Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
