You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
