It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
