glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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