She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
