Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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