very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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