and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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