I've blown a few things in my day
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
