I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
