the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
