please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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