just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
