Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
