my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
