At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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