whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
