oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
