Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
