oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
