Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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