I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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