Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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