I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
