I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My pussy is not your playground.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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