That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
