Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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