Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
