This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
