I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
