the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
