S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
FUCK WHALES
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
