If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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