So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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