That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Randomize
