dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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