Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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