i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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