Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
